Monday, June 19, 2006


While in Bed....

The past few weeks I was fortunate enough to spend on my back laid out in front of the tv. Yes it was a vacation of sorts. A vacation from sanity. I was recovering from surgurey and forced to be on my back and filled with pain killers. Though I was unable to kick around the old futbol or run around with the same gusto that a spry young lad like myself usually exudes, I was, however, able to learn a lot in those two weeks. So now, I share with you what I learned.

I learned that the Italian Soccer team does not look like this:

Or this:

No, they look like this:

And this:

Sorry guys. My mistake.

I learned that the Hartford Whalers are the best team in the NHL.

I learned that hockey looks much faster when you are lying in bed and have just spent the last 7 and a half hours watching the World Cup.

I learned
that Mark Cuban is more than ready to win a championship. It's just that it's not going to happen this year.

I learned that Dwayne Wade is "1c" in the NBA right now. Right behind LBJ (at 1a) and Kobe (at 1b), and gaining fast.

I learned that Preston Mattingly has "Sandwich Round" talent. I will repeat; "Sandwich Round" talent.

I learned that Shaq gets abused at home. If Shaq's daughter hits harder than Jerry Stackhouse, then who could beat up their father in their prime, Shaq's daughter or Mohammed Ali's daughter?

I learned that Gnarles Barkley is not from Western Kentucky's famed Lake Barkley (resort photo on right!!), nor a descendent of the "Veep," Vice President Alben Barkley.

I learned that Dominoes is now the 'sweetheart' of the Worldwide Leader's programming. (Sorry 'Battle of the Gridiron Stars')

I learned that I still love Chad Ford's work. (Draft day is only 8 days, 4 hours, 18 minuntes, and 47..er46 seconds away and counting....)

I learned how to spell URSPRACHE.

I learned that if Lefty could hit the ball righty then I would not be typing the following word: Ogilvy.

I learned that the greates sport on earth (and America's new pastime) is MTV's Next! (Man i love that show. Wouldn't you just love to 'Next' people all day long? OR wouldn't Dirk love to 'Next' his game 3 performance? OR wouldn't Chien-Ming Wang love to 'Next' the walk-off slider he threw to Ryan Zimmerman in the bottom of the 9th on Sunday?)

And Finally...

I learned that spending 20+ hours a day on your back for 10+ days is something that should be sanctioned as a sporting event in the US. If you can do so without going crazy or without asking the birds in the trees, "how's the new home coming along," then you certainly earn stripes in my book. Well, back to the daily grind and back to keeping up with the Weavers.

Umm... that "Italian" soccer player you posted? The second one? Yeah. That's Team Sweden.
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